The NFL Has A New Method To Settle Crazy Fans

Philadelphia Eagles fans, watch out. Or don't, I'd like to see you all stay rowdy and make Lincoln Financial Field one of the toughest venues to play in the National Football League. It might come at a price though.

The NFL has come up with a new method to settle rowdy crowds, and it sure is an interesting approach.

Licensed psychotherapist Dr. Ari Novak, who clearly doesn't like to booze and get crunk during sporting events has created a program that will require only the fans who get ejected to complete a four hour program and pay a total of $75 dollars just to be allowed back in the stadium. Damnit!! 


Novak is also a certified anger management expert and professional. Somewhere Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson are fuming.

Fans who get tossed will also get their picture snapped and seat number recorded. I'll say it again: Their seat number recorded? Sounds like a very effective strategy....

If fans don't comply, they will be placed on a list called "never-to-return". Don't worry people, there's always a way to beat the system!

Just like in school, you must get 70 percent of the questions correct in order to be allowed back in the stadium. Imagine drinking 15 beers then trying to take this test. It could be fun, or it could simply be the death of you.

With Xfinity Live! now in place and basically open all day long, I have a feeling Eagles fans will have a tough time passing this test if they are in fact, ejected.

For future reference, if you are one of these fans who has to undergo this psychiatric treatment and take some phony test, please let me know. And if I'm a victim, I'll sure as hell update you on the process.

I guess we can thank San Francisco fans for this who decide to nearly beat opposing fans to death or pack some heat and let shots ring out in stadium parking lots.

Actually, wait... I'm just going to blame Pittsburgh. It's definitely their fault.